KYA LOVE STORY HAI easily qualifies as the shortest ever Bollywood flicks. After all it lasts just 6 minutes - a minute spent into the title roll immediately followed by Kareena's five minute appearance in 'It's Rocking'. Once the song gazes through and the opening shot of the actual film begins with two sex starved sidekicks romping on a bed and bath tub respectively with stuffed plastic dolls, you know that it is only going to be downhill from hereon.
So bad is debutant director Lovely Singh's effort that calling KLSH a cliché would be a cliché in itself! Even though the film is just 120 minutes with 30 minutes consumed by 6 songs and further 30 minutes dedicated to the sidekicks trying to make love to anyone and everyone who comes in their way, there is nothing at all to tell in remaining 60 minutes. Even a tele-serial may have fared better!
To add to the woes, Ayesha Takia has all the reasons to be sidelined! And no, it is not due to Kareena Kapoor being more prominent on billboards, posters and other publicity material but a certain South African blonde called Martha! Reason? As Ayesha's snooty to-be-husband's [Karan Hukku] secretary, she makes it into the record books to be spending more time with her boss discussing business deals and contract sign-offs. Considering the man is touted to be one of the most successful entrepreneurs around, whatever happened to good old 'art of delegation'!
Well, talking of art, even our very own lead actor [Tusshar] boasts of prowess in one form of art - that of architecture. He can make out the wrong symmetry of a building in one look and even declare that what looks good from distance may not quite be the same when close. Alas, the entire audience (or whatever little number present in the auditorium) understood the reference but poor Ayesha doesn't quite till the film's end!
Ayesha's characterization itself is a paradox of sorts, as is the entire film in fact. On one hand she proclaims at the film's start itself that she is career oriented, wants to start early, grow early and be big, while on the other hand at an age of 20 she is willing to marry a 'perfectly-wrong-stranger'! In the times when even small town girls are willing to give themselves some time before taking a plunge into marital hood, it is comical to see her falling pray to her 'sapnon-ka-rajkumar' fantasies on the first given opportunity.
Now let's talk about 'sapnon-ka-rajkumar' who is perhaps modeled straight on the ever-so-snobbish-and-high-headed Prince of SHREK series. He is rude, he is angry, he has a constant frown on his face, he fires people because they spell him as whatever-Uberoi instead of whatever-Oberoi, he calls a girl who shows him a mirror as 'over smart' and he kicks and hurts Ayesha's good-friend Tusshar in a beach rugby match! But guess what? The girl forgives and forgets (well almost)!
She says, "I am confused"! Girlie, what's there to be confused about? Just kick him aside and move on! What is anyways there at all in this model-trying-to-look-like-an-entrepreneur who doesn't come personally to pick his girl for his first date, asks his secretary to choose flowers for her and heck, even asks one of them to write a so-called personal note! And by the way, when he takes her out eventually, he is supposed to make an audience believe that he is having fun while dancing amidst tanks, soldiers, choppers and bikes, all in the middle of a city!
So what happens to the 'good-friend' eventually? Well, he gets a 'dhakka' of his life when his 'good friend' tells him that he needs to have an identity. So off he flies, gets an identity in around 15-20 days flat, wears a 'mehnat-ki-kmaai-se-earned' glares, walks out of an airport in slow motion and walks back to somewhere with a tear in his eye after realizing that his 'good-friend' is now engage