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AR Rahman on having suicidal thoughts in past, relaxation & more

Saturday, February 2, 2019 • Telugu Comments

We present to you a never before seen side of A.R.Rahman in an exclusive interview in which for the first time ever he has opened up on many aspects of his life other than his music.  Here are the excerpts from the interview which has the genius speaking about his spirituality, his inspirations and his latest experience of working with new talents.

Why are you not a part of 'Indian 2'?

Kamal Haasan kept asking me to do the film but I left it to the director.  Shankar is one person who wants to get inspired and sometimes when you keep on working with the same team, you get bored and there are no challenges as we are perfectly in sync with each other. 

'2.0' was such an exhausting project and Shankar thought I overworked on that and wanted to opt for a different music director for 'Indian 2'.  This is not the first time as it happened before in 'Anniyan' ('Aparichitudu') and 'Nanban' ('Snehithudu') and its good to take a break and then come back together.

For most people, music is relaxing but you live with that.  So what do you do for relaxation?

Movies.  But after a certain level, cannot watch that too. I love to be with Nature and often go to my farmhouse (OM Studio) which is always peaceful and rejuvenating.  I also love traveling and whenever am too bored I catch a flight and go off somewhere.

We can say that recent years are a golden period as you have given many films in Tamil.  Is it because the scripts inspire you?

One of the reasons is that my mom is not keeping well and I find it difficult to look after her from Hollywood and also to spend time with my children I am based totally in Chennai.  Some interesting filmmakers such as with Atlee, Vikram Kumar ('24') and A.R. Murugadoss ('Sarkar') came to me with interesting projects and (Laughs) I think I did too many films of late. Hollywood and Bollywood directors keep calling me asking me to come and do films with them.

Since 1992, you have seen many achievements, you have had happiness, your share of failures and negativity.  How do you balance all that? 

I watched a documentary in which it is said that when love is sowed in the brain, it reflects that and multiplies and similarly when worries are sown its the same.  In my life, I cannot afford to be negative as it would affect my art.  So in the space of spirituality, love and self-questioning and struggling with desires to refine them.  Nobody's perfect and there is a dark side and a bright side and it is important to put in an effort to go to the bright side.  For me, music was and is that beautiful thing that drives my life.

You have seen GV Prakash Kumar (Rahman's relative) grow as a kid and what is your opinion on seeing his acting in 'Sarvam Thaala Mayam' (this Tamil film will hit the screens as a dubbed version in Telugu later this year)?

GV is a very blessed and talented person and in this movie, he has transformed into Peter and I did not see GV on screen only Peter.  So God Bless him.

Recently, you said that Rajinikanth is your big inspiration.  Who else did you look up to in young days?

One big inspiration is Ilayaraja sir who came from a very humble beginning but has worked hard to rise to such a legendary position and no doubt he deserves the 75th year celebrations.  In my young age, not because of others but because of me, I had an inferiority complex as well as suicidal thoughts but I came out of it and when 'Roja' became a hit, I was on a world level stage.  I didn't know how to behave coming from Tamil Nadu and at the Oscars the whole world was watching me.  

God and destiny have pushed me into different arenas and I have now become a director and had to learn Virtual Reality for that, I took a course.

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